Mails on the international dating site from man’s point of view. What they want and what they expect.

16.10.2018 12:00

Our expert is Ksenia Droben, director of the international dating agency “Ksenia Droben Partnervermittlung” Germany. She is the author of the articles, professional blogger, the author of the teach yourself book “How to marry a foreigner”, the author and coach of the “School of Brides” course and various training seminars for foreign men.

Question: Do men want to receive letters and reply them? Is it interesting for them in the era of instant messengers? Are they waiting for letters?

Ksenia:  If we speak about my male-clients then they are really like to write letters and use communicators. And when it takes a week for a woman to respond an email or two days to answer a message then of course men get upset about it. Therefore, when I do webinars for ladies I say them that if you respond to their messages and letters so rarely you will not get married. Everything works only due to the speed and interesting communication. Male-clients want to write letters as well as receive them. Although my male target audience are Germans they don’t really want to pay for letters))) They are willing to pay for contact information and then communicate with the lady directly

Question: Are the letters romantic? Or they are waiting for newsletters? What do they want to read?

Ksenia: They are different. There are some men who wrote the first letter, but have already imagined their entire life together with the lady and what school her child will go to. Full picture is drawn… One can call it dreamy. But, on the other hand, if he does not have such imagination, then this is bad. He simply does not see a new partner entering his life and changes it. And when I do seminars for the gentlemen, I usually say: «Do not dream too much. First go, see, meet, drink coffee, and then start dreaming». But he says: «ООО! She has such a special deep eyes, we will be happy together!»

Question: Male-recipients… what major categories would you point out? What kind of man can you call?

Ksenia: I would say that gentlemen expectations in letters similar to types of people classified by the way of communication. Someone wants the detailed information: “what are you doing?”, everything in details. Asks many questions. Of course, they are offended if they do not receive a long letter full of answers. For them, information is important. He thinks, if he got information about a woman, then he already knew her. They totally exclude chemistry moments, like her-did not like, clicked-did not click… There are men who do not ask questions at all. Women complain, they think that a man is not interested, or he is introverted. So, it will be difficult to communicate with him. And a man, if he has a job, children, he also can not write to much ..And then it is important for a woman to take the initiative. And mostly neutral …The only thing, I can say, from my point of view is that often ladies go too far, trying to present themselves as a very clever person, trying to send photos in the Hermitage or tell the Peter the Great story… But men are interested to listen life experience things. For example, today I baked a cake. Here is a picture of the cake. I got a kitten and he pissed a carpet – here’s a picture, here’s the kitten, here’s the carpet, here’s the pissed place)))A child drew a finger painting. Here is the child, here is the finger painting. That’s it! I have to explain that you do not have to be too serious, because in ordinary life people talk more about burned eggs or coffee than about the Hermitage.That is, many times I asked men what they would like a deep correspondence? and everyone says: “Better cakes”). They want life things. Here is the same point: if an 18-year-old translator does not communicate with her female-client, she can not do it at all.

Question:What about age different men? Do they take things in different way?

Ksenia: Getting older men as well as women, get more conservative, and therefore a woman should bring happiness to a man. A man is willing to be with a woman only if she makes emotion inside of him. There are no other variants. Therefore, when woman is young there is shine in her eyes… Men confuse her shining eyes with temperament. With age, it can go away, and the lady will become sad and depressed blowing his mind..And adult women, they also think with age: But, I’m an adult, how so… I constantly explain them that it is necessary to be emotional and not discuss serious topics, but provocate. Of course if we mean a young man who is ready to get married and sex is accepted then that’s one thing. Or if we understand that there will not be a lot of sex or will not be at all then, of course, there will not be much flirting as well. The point is that there are different things for young men and older men. Communicating with adult men there have to be more fun but less sexuality. Otherwise it will not happen…

My favorite subject, when I hold seminars, “keep it simple”. I illustrate it by «coffee picture».I always send photos on which I drink coffee: a cup is on the table, and from under the table you can see my knee) I told this to my ladies who sent Hermitage photos… After a while, everyone started sending photos about coffee. And men were delighted. They realized that the point was the knee))And it is clear that if a man is 40-50 years old, then sending a knee makes sense. And if one is 70 years old then it doesn’t make sense…There must be a provocation, but, based on his values. To be continued…

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